Things I Do for My Wife

i was in super target last night doing some much-needed grocery shopping, and thought i'd get something for my wife. i saw these real casual dresses on the rack and thought one would look good on my wife. it looked like it might be a little short, but it was hard to tell since it was on a hanger and everything. now, i'm roughly the same height as my wife, so there i was in a public place and i notice my arm reaching out for this dress and i remember thinking "hey tyson, what do you think you're going to do with that dress? cause i know you're not going to hold it up to yourself to check the length." well, i didn't hold it up to myself. i took the much more intelligent route of crouching beside it until my shoulders were in line with the hanger. yes, that was the picture of masculinity.
the dress was too short.